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So my gf of 5 years...

  • told me last night that she doesn't really find me attractive anymore. I mean I have been taking subtle hints for awhile now, so I brought it up and she was honest with me (wish she wasn't). Anyhow, something I should be worried about for our future? She told me I'm perfect in every way, blah blah blah. For the time being I told her I wasn't upset, not her fault, etc. and she doesn't want to break up, and I don't either. It bothers me though, because I find her super attractive (no pics sorry).

    What do you guys think? Any action needed or just let it play out?

    HawkSoph

  • Beat it, bot.

    Unless your real. Then get rid of her. Shell be cheating on you in no time.

    signature image signature image signature image

    WiserIowan

  • yeah doesnt sound good. if shes that damn hones she is getting ready to cheat or already may be. hope not good luck!!

    shaneomac1

  • She's banging an upper classman

    rhino3382

  • She is bored with you and ready to move on she just doesn't have a good enough reason to let you go. I know it's great to be honest and stuff but it would have been a lot nicer if she lied.

    m

    mistyhawk ●

  • -told me last night that she doesn't really find me attractive anymore.

    She wants to see someone else

    -I mean I have been taking subtle hints for awhile now, so I brought it up and she was honest with me (wish she wasn't).

    She will tell you what you want to hear...so long as she still gets HER way.

    -Anyhow, something I should be worried about for our future?

    IMO, yes. I was married to a woman like that for 10 years......she tore my life apart. It took forever for me to realize the problem was with her, not me.

    -For the time being I told her I wasn't upset (you should be), not her fault (but it is), etc. and she doesn't want to break up (she just isn't telling you), and I don't either (tough situation ain't it, but I've been there).

    -It bothers me though, because I find her super attractive

    If this is the only reason you want to stay with her, there's a big problem. Looks are not everything my friend.....believe that.

    I hope things work out for you, I really do.

    KajunGator

  • She's banging someone else.

    If she's not, she will be soon, unless you hit the gym and put on a ton of muscle and/or figure out a way to obtain a larger penis. If you can pull this off, she may not cheat on you for a while longer, but it will still happen.

    signature image signature image

    I didn't mean to hit the umpire with the dirt, but I did mean to hit that bastard in the stands. -Babe Ruth

    JWolf0074

  • HawkSoph said...

    told me last night that she doesn't really find me attractive anymore. I mean I have been taking subtle hints for awhile now, so I brought it up and she was honest with me (wish she wasn't). Anyhow, something I should be worried about for our future? She told me I'm perfect in every way, blah blah blah. For the time being I told her I wasn't upset, not her fault, etc. and she doesn't want to break up, and I don't either. It bothers me though, because I find her super attractive (no pics sorry).

    What do you guys think? Any action needed or just let it play out?

    She's messing around with another guy man. If she doesn't find you "attractive" anymore, that means there is another guy who she likes and is probably already with. If you stay with her, I would consider it a f-buddy and you shouldn't spend money on her anymore and definitely wrap it up.

    signature image signature image signature image

    Sine Missione -- Never be a spectator for unfairness or stupidity, argue for arguments sake; the grave will give plenty of time for silence.

    derHawkeye

  • Haha. Well first off, I'm not a bot. I a lurker. Used to lurk and post occasionally on HROT, but once Perk, Wolfe, and crew moved here, it hasn't been the same over there.

    To respond to some of the other things posted here:
    - We get along great. My love for her is not because of her looks, so that isn't why I want to stay with her. She was very genuine about how much she wanted to fix this, and broke down several times when I told her I wasn't sure I wanted to continue our relationship.
    - She's not cheating on me. I know you guys will probably laugh and say that's what they all say, but she's not. You'll just have to trust me on that one.

    I just don't like knowing that my own girlfriend doesn't find me attractive. I just don't know what to think.

    HawkSoph

  • HawkSoph said...

    Haha. Well first off, I'm not a bot. I a lurker. Used to lurk and post occasionally on HROT, but once Perk, Wolfe, and crew moved here, it hasn't been the same over there.

    To respond to some of the other things posted here: - We get along great. My love for her is not because of her looks, so that isn't why I want to stay with her. She was very genuine about how much she wanted to fix this, and broke down several times when I told her I wasn't sure I wanted to continue our relationship. - She's not cheating on me. I know you guys will probably laugh and say that's what they all say, but she's not. You'll just have to trust me on that one.

    I just don't like knowing that my own girlfriend doesn't find me attractive. I just don't know what to think.

    Even if she's not cheating on you or thinking about it (which I doubt), if she doesn't find you attractive at 20, do you think she'll suddenly find you attractive at 30? 40? 60?

    A relationship has to have some level of mutual physical attraction or it's not going to work. Cut the cord now, it'll hurt, but get it over with. There's lots of attractive, pretty young women in IC. There's someone else out there. Some of them will even let you enter their naughty cave. Alcohol increases this chance.

    But before you dump her...PIIHB.

    signature image signature image

    I didn't mean to hit the umpire with the dirt, but I did mean to hit that bastard in the stands. -Babe Ruth

    JWolf0074

  • She might not be cheating on you. I think if she can tell you she isn't attracted to you she would have no problem saying she cheated. Why did you ask? I don't want to get too in your business but by attracted do you mean not sexually attracted? That really could be fixable. Like it might just be getting boring after 5 years. Try to make it fun and different. She probably still thinks you're good looking and it's more of a problem with her sex drive? She could talk to her Dr. about that. I could be way off too I really don't know anything.

    m

    mistyhawk ●

  • And I didn't realize you were only 20... Maybe its a good time to be young and enjoy it. You have been in a relationship for a long time I doubt its bad being single and young! Atleast make sure she knows other girls are attracted to you for some reason that makes guys look better when someone else wants them.

    m

    mistyhawk ●

  • Strap on some running shoes and go for a run. Blow of stress and start losing weight. If it doesn't work out at least you're on a track to looking/feeling better and pulling in some decent tail.

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    millah22

  • Brah if you're only 20, break it off for awhile. Do your own thing, I promise you will not regret being 20 and single in iowa city.

    McLovin32

  • HawkSoph said...

    told me last night that she doesn't really find me attractive anymore. I mean I have been taking subtle hints for awhile now, so I brought it up and she was honest with me (wish she wasn't). Anyhow, something I should be worried about for our future? She told me I'm perfect in every way, blah blah blah. For the time being I told her I wasn't upset, not her fault, etc. and she doesn't want to break up, and I don't either. It bothers me though, because I find her super attractive (no pics sorry).

    What do you guys think? Any action needed or just let it play out?

    There are two keys to being happy & single
    1.) You gotta work out everyday with a hardcore diet
    2.) You gotta go out and dance with chicks

    *I suck at dancing so I workout even harder. The point being, I promise you if you work out hard & stick to a diet, in three months you can have this talk again with her but be on the other side of the conversation

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    15 National Championships and one Urban Meyer heart attack, Roll Tide. 23 NC's in wrestling and one badass Herky, Go Hawks.

    fuisu ●

  • Gym membership: ~ $30
    Protein shakes: ~$25
    Creatine: ~$15
    Telling a girl who blew off before but wants you now to "lose 15lbs than come talk to me": Priceless

    signature image signature image signature image

    15 National Championships and one Urban Meyer heart attack, Roll Tide. 23 NC's in wrestling and one badass Herky, Go Hawks.

    fuisu ●

  • know a couple of guys--partner told them to stop drinking and lose weight-- both did everything-- "D.I.V.O.R.C.E." becomes final today--well actually it was a few your ago--shrug

    HELLOWALLS

  • Haha...I'm definitely not fat. I'm in pretty good shape and already go to the gym. It's not that.

    HawkSoph

  • Start banging other broads and make sure she finds out. She will all of the sudden remember why you were desirable in the first place.

    You're welcome.

    The Tigerhawk

  • Does she have a sister?

    signature image signature image signature image

    "I was brought in here to change the culture. I'm going to coach with passion" - Fran McCaffery.

    UI2015

  • The Tigerhawk said...

    Start banging other broads and make sure she finds out. She will all of the sudden remember why you were desirable in the first place.

    You're welcome.

    This is actually a good idea methinks.

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    Hawkifish

  • as others have said, you're only 20. break it off with her. obviously it won't be easy but you should follow our advice and break it off. you shouldn't go all the way through college attached to one girl. plus if you break it off now, it'll make the current gf want you more in the long run. so break if off (or take a break if you need to go the immature way) and maybe you can get back together a few years down the road.

    like someone else has said if she's not attracted to you anymore thats a MAJOR red flag. usually girls find a way of linking a personality that they really enjoy to a guys looks. so if she isn't attracted to you there is something really wrong. plus if you stay with her how will you not find yourself becoming super jealous of every guy out there who may talk to your gf. trust me, unless your gf just stays inside her place every weekend she is going to be out at the bars or parties meeting other guys. i have no clue how you could feel easy knowing she's out there, stuck to a guy she's not attracted to.

    i'm sorry brah, but the preemptive breakup is your best move. i know it's really tough to see that now but 4 years from now whether you take our advice or don't you'll realize we were right.

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    iHawkatKinnick2

  • Honestly though, I have a few friends that are girls who don't find their boyfriends attractive anymore and every single on of them has cheated. Some with multiple partners. Maybe she isn't cheating yet, but she'll look elsewhere eventually. It'd be easier on you to leave her and maybe she decides she was wrong and wants to get back together. Otherwise, you can move on to other things.

    signature image signature image signature image

    "I was brought in here to change the culture. I'm going to coach with passion" - Fran McCaffery.

    UI2015

  • You bang her as much and as long as possible until she wont anymore. Then if she hasnt already broken up with you, you break up with her. How are you guys missing this? Always tap as much as possible

    clopeck777

  • iHawkatKinnick2 said...

    i'm sorry brah, but the preemptive breakup is your best move. i know it's really tough to see that now but 4 years from now whether you take our advice or don't you'll realize we were right.

    The preemptive strike is as I suggested a very goo move here, at the very least you need to start wearing rubbers. Trust me, just in my isolated apartment complex, there have been a shit ton of chicks who have "boyfriends" but cheat numerous times, some of which I've knowingly hit on...don't judge me (I didn't know the guy). Just ask yourself if you'd rather be with a chick who doesn't actually like you, or if you'd rather get over her and not get hurt when you realize she's cheating on you.

    signature image signature image signature image

    Sine Missione -- Never be a spectator for unfairness or stupidity, argue for arguments sake; the grave will give plenty of time for silence.

    derHawkeye

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