In partnership with CBSSports.com
Online Now 230
Online now 217 Record: 4649 (2/27/2012)
The place for inside information on the Iowa Hawkeyes
The place to discuss general topics outside of Iowa
You have no favorite boards.
The most viewed topics.
The most replied to topics.
The most up-voted topics.
The most down-voted topics.
The most up-voted posters.
The most down-voted posters.
The most followed posters.
I realized that part of the reason I have a hard time getting along with women (especially now) is that I have a hard time relating to them. I don't have kids, and my once upon a time friends, now have kids. And that is all the talk about. I really don't give a $h*t. Then I have the friends that are so superficial, and just talk about the purse they bought, the new wardrobe, the name brand crap of some stupid Italian person that I've never heard of.
So, I am either a man trapped in a woman's body that is gay, or the friends that I have just don't match up. I think it's a combination of the two.
I need some new friends.
Do you know how to put on makeup?
Kids really don't matter. Mothers are still women. Matter of fact mothers are the best women, sorry. Just saying. I don't know where I was going with this. So I'm just going to stop posting now.
Of course, I am more of a tomboy who wears makeup. If that makes sense.
Uh, I think we might be on the opposite worlds. None of my closest friends have kids yet my friends were more artsy and went to school forever and traveled. One is finally pregnant. As far as designers go I have no idea about any of that and I buy what I like. I do have a lot of female friends though and make time for myself to have girls nights pretty regularly. I'm not a man trapped in a woman's body I'm actually kind of a girly girl. I love baking, kids, and would be fine staying at home but when I look for friends I want the opposite. I love hearing their fun single woman stories.
But that's so not true. They may still be the person they were, but of course their life has totally changed for their child. I am not saying it's a bad thing. It is part of life. But, as someone who doesn't have kids, and all their really good/close friends now have kids, there's not much to talk about or do. Obviously, they can't get out as much, and the biggest thing in their life is now their child(ren). I can't relate to that. I try to be empathetic, and I can to a point. But, when they're such a young age, that is their life. And I'd rather not be around them, because we don't connect. It's hard on both levels. I know after they're in school, it would be different, but that will be quite some time.
There is no right or wrong answer, it's just not something I'm interested in right now.
So u are a less sensitive version of Morrison y
Gold medals aren't really made of gold. They're made of sweat, determination, and a hard-to-find alloy called guts.
It is funny, because it is quite opposite. Almost all of my close friends now have kids, or are pregnant with their first kid. It's the same as before. Everything has changed (and of course should be). This is not to put down those women, it's to vent my frustration of the friends that I've had, that I won't get to spend time with for a while.
I will say I had my first young and I'm so glad my friends were understanding I couldn't go out all the time bit my husband is awesome and let's me do what I want so I can always put the kids to bed go out and be back before they wake up. I am lucky to maintain my own life while having a family.
I totally get it too. And, I am the "aunt" for my girlfriends children too. I am happy to be there for them, but am sad at the same time. Things are on hold for a while, if not forever. That's what kinda sucks. I have amazing friends, who are amazing parents. I love their family, and they're great, but we just don't connect like we used to before the kids. It changes things. I am not against change, but I of course would rather it not change a relationship to good, to almost non-existent. I would never blame them, it is only natural. It's the fact that it's happened to almost all of my close friends, and I"m just sad. The people whom I've spent so much time with have their families, and I just can't relate like they can. It's a natural order of things, just didn't expect it from just about everyone all within a year or two. Bummer....
Ok my Monday fun day friend is 22 and is going through this or all of her friends are getting married and she feels off because of it. I tell her to enjoy dating. I love my husband and would choose him still but finishing life experiences at 19 is crazy. She has more married or mom friends than I do.
All of my friends have young kids, but I think guys are a little better about that because they're not worried about leaving the kids with the wife. There are a few that I've stood up a their wedding and I really never talk to them now because of kids, though.
I have had other friends like that too, but we're 26/27, and have been together for 8 years. So our relationship isn't different, or has changed with our close friends. Now, between BOTH of us, it has a lot, within 2 years. It's like I get it, but don't get it. It makes sense if I was them. But i'm not, so now what do I do/have?
I think the booze is making me make this a bigger deal than it is. Damn you Admiral Nelson and your devilishness with coke zero.
So... Is it bad I at least once a week tuck the kids in and go out? Can people not have both?
Well my original closest friends are 30/31 and still only one is pregnant now. They all make more money than me and have more life experience. College was so much easier for them too because I had a toddler and two jobs and student teaching and they would complain about being busy and they dint even have jobs. It's a balancing act for sure.
Hell no! Not one bit! That's great if parents can do it, seriously! My friends, have not been able to do that. That's part of the problem. They either don't have anyone to watch the kids (most common), or they won't separate themselves to go out and have fun. I am not finding the middle with them. I think it's too selfish of me to say something. Most of them are new parents. I have no right in saying anything. But another issue is, they have nothing else to talk about. I REALLY am interested in what is going on with their kids, but with most of them, that is all they talk about. That is their life (true in a way). We don't have a common ground, because the only thing is their kid. It just doesn't work for me. I may be a selfish Bitch, but it seems to be all or nothing w/ my friends.
This is where we disagree. I couldn't care less about their kids for the most part. As long as they're still breathing, that's about as much as care to hear. Otherwise I assume they're doing the exact same things other babies/toddlers are doing.
But I'm kind of a dick.
This post was edited by JWolf0074 17 months ago
Jeez, I seem to be the old one with my friends. We're all 24-28, and I seem to be the only one now w/o kids. None of them have serious jobs, but neither do I. I make the same as most of them, but they have more of an expense (I'm with the in-laws so it evens out in that sense). I'm miserable, they're miserable, we're all miserable, and I have no one to hang out with.
Ok.....done pouting and venting. I realized that it was too much. Taking a deep breath now, and trying to live in the present moment.
That's awesome. I figured, I should be interested in their kids, and I am to a point. I know more than your avg. family member. But, I feel like that's what I need to do to be a decent friend. The problem is, they can't get past their kids. That's it. It is their children, nothing else. What do I have to talk about with them? That's their life. Not that it's wrong, or a bad thing, I just don't relate.
That's what's bothering me. Those were my friends.
I dont know, is it they cant leave the kids with the dads or they just can't let the dads have time out? I get time away and only once in a very great while do my husband and I go out together. I like going out with him but we don't have a lot of family lining up to babysit. But, I love that we can take turns going out. What would we talk about if we were always together?
I'm convinced that even if I had kids I would still tell my friends to shut up when they start talking about theirs and they definitely wouldn't hear stories about mine.
Yeah, I don't reaLly talk about mine that much. I'm with my son all day he comes to work with me, I love my kids they are cute and cool but I like to have time that has nothing to do with them.
Dendro, might I suggest a solution to your problem. If you were to have a purely physical relationship with a man...oh say 49 years old who goes by the name jshawks perhaps you wouldn't be sad. In fact I would go so far as to say if you were to sleep with me 25 times, if after that you didn't like it, you would never have to see me again.
Ok. I kid I kid.
This post was edited by jshawks 17 months ago
Not sure that would be a good solution, but I will keep it in mind.
Any plans to have kids dendro?
No. children are evil
247Sports In partnership with CBS Sports