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Can be anything, things you say or just crap you have heard that makes you laugh.
When people ask how I am I normally say "Finer than frog hair" for some reason.
This post was edited by HawkiBrad55 13 months ago
Gold medals aren't really made of gold. They're made of sweat, determination, and a hard-to-find alloy called guts.
So secure that you'd/it'd make John Holmes insecure
Here are some of my favorite quotes:
1. It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open ones mouth and remove all doubt. -Abraham Lincoln
2. All that is necessary for evil to triumph is that good men do nothing. -Edmund Burke
3. There are 3 things you should never discuss with people. Religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin. -Linus VanPelt
Get busy living or get busy dying - The Shawshank Redmpetion
Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem. - Ronald Reagan
I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
There are a lot of good ones, but here's the first one that came to mind:
"You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you." - John Wooden
My old FB coach used to say "tough times don't last, tough people do". I always liked that one.
A buddy of mine said one of the smartest things I've ever heard, though: "There are 2 things you never buy cheap-beer and toilet paper."
And this one:
BEST LINES EVER!! PART1
MASH-Take My Advice, Pull Down Your Pants And Slide On The Ice!
Don't pole vault mouse turds.
"Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard."
Be careful who you're calling a child, Lois, because if I'm a child, that makes you a pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit here and get lectured by a pervert.
What am I supposed to do with all my great ideas? Put 'em in a tub and clean myself with them? That's what soap is for, Lois.
"A cynic is a man who smells flowers, and looks for the casket." - H.L. Mencken
"The United States is a nation of laws; poorly written and randomly enforced." Frank Zappa
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn’t understand the assignment. I told them they didn’t understand life." - John Lennon
Life is hard. It's really hard if you're stupid.
Never throw toothpicks in a toilet, crabs can pole vault.
'Mistakes are the portals for discovery.' James Joyce
'Don't let the things that you cannot do, get in the way of the things you can do.' John Wooden
'Texan by birth, Hawkeye by the Grace of God'
What happened to be able and go directly to the last page?
Who's quote is that?
I wanted to add one other quote that I forgot to put up in my last post, and I can't believe that I forgot to put this one up.
"Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." -John Wayne
1. It is good that war is so terrible or we might grow too fond of it - Robert E. Lee
2. I feel like I've been shot at and missed and s*** at and hit - nobody in particular
3. Sure is fun, having fun.
4. It's high time we had a high time.
5. I got a weak back! When'd you get that weak back? Oh, about a week back.
6. Reality = If you wish in one hand and s*** in the other, then slap them together, what do you come up with - Real Old Navy adage
I didn't get where I am today by worrying about how I'd feel tomorrow. - Ron White
1) if it smells like fish, eat it
On a more serious note, not sure where it originated but i like it.
2) Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, simply surrounded by ---holes
And finally the last part of Dillinger Four's "a floater left with pleasure in the executive washroom":
This isn't you
It's just what you do
Don't mistake the irony of calling it a "living"
If you feel like no one
If you feel like nothing
You've only been taking what they're giving
"A good pointer don't run through a covey."
"Don't let fear make you a coward."
"Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large, I contain multitudes."
"There is nothing more irritating than a good example."
"I wish I were half the man my dog thinks I am."
"My biggest problem is that I place women under a pedestal."
"When Slade, the gunfighter, aimed his gun at the bartender, that bartender was the deadest man that ever lived."
"If I ever inherit a couple of million dollars, I reckon I'll just farm until it is gone."
"When there's so much left to do, why spend your time focusing on things you've already done, counting trophies or telling stories about the good old days?"
And this one by the same guy:
"I've experienced great things, I've experienced great tragedies. I've done almost everything I could possibly ever imagine doing, but I just know that there's more."
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